When you were here

Dad and mom when you were here in the US, I was really so so happy... So happy and excited that I wanted both of you to be proud of the life that I'm living here. What I have achieved in the past 3 years. My efforts and the tuition that you forked out, out of the years of work and savings..

Miss you both dearly...

There are no "but-s".

It's a horrible life when you have no goal, no specific purpose, nothing to look forward. Trying hard to make yourself happy by watching comedies... Laughing on the outside... but on the inside...

Appreciate those friends that understand what it feels like waking up everyday... not really knowing what will happen that night...

Was looking at pictures that was taken with mom and dad when we were in New Orleans. There were some pictures whereby I can see both of them, worried bout our futures.

Being young, they were worried about education. Upon entering high school, they want to make sure we get into an ok school and good results...

Then it comes to college life, the question of "what am I going to study?", "how much is it going to cost us?", "how long do I need to study?"...

Now a graduate... what's next? Graduate school? Work?

I will be in Chicago on June 30th night and will be there until July 14th...

Honestly, what is next?

LX

And another...

good friend that left...

for Malaysia, she graduated together with me this Spring 2009 semester.

She had the choice to remain and do her masters, got offer and everything but decided home is where she wants to be.

See Teng, here is to wishing you all the best in whatever you do and thank you very much for your card.

Had the opportunity to hang out quite a bit before she left since we were both not doing anything...

Feels like having a big sister around listening to me complain and grumble at times...

Truly good friends are really hard to come by and somehow these good people don't always last around your side for a long time. God always wants them to be somewhere else and be a blessing unto others.

Guess you can't be selfish and only want good friends around you all the time.

Maybe I need to learn to be someone else's good friend, be a blessing unto him/her, despite how terrible him/her is?

I can only tolerate someone that much... beyond that I usually don't care once he/she crosses the line.

So here is to learning to be a more giving person, to become a more "people" person rather than "me"

Here's to the good friends, family that still am reading this post right now... How are you?

Went to a shooting range with See Teng yesterday before she left this morning (June 18).

Most of the pictures are in her camera so have to wait until she gets back home.

See Teng holding a Beretta 22. Smaller bullets, lesser recoil, and yes a real gun!


Ear muff just coz its so loud! Will post pictures of me shooting and hopefully a video soon!

LX

Boyzone - Picture of You

Didn't they say that I would make a mistake
Didn't they say you were gonna be trouble
People told me you were too much to take
I couldn't see it, I didn't want to know

I let you in, and you let me down
You messed me up and you turned my life around
Left me feeling I had nowhere to go
I was alone how was I to know that

You would be there when I needed somebody
You would be there the only one could help

I had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find
The friend that was there all along

Who'd believe that after all we've been through
I'd be able to put my trust in you
Goes to show you can forgive and forget
Looking back I have no regrets cos

You would be there when I needed somebody
You would be there the only one could help me

I had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find
The friend that was there all along

You would be there when I needed somebody
You would be there the only one could help me

I had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find
The friend that was there all along

Had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find
The friend that was there all along

Had a picture of you in my mind, all along
Never knew it could be so wrong, all along
Why'd it take me so long just to find



have I been having the wrong picture all along?
watching people leaving one by one...
helps you realize truly in the end who's truly...

yours...

LX

*Nods*

Thanks Lyvia for being a good hearing aid... Eh I mean friend to hear me out...

Haha...

Dedicate this post to you la..

Good enough right?

Haha...

Pity you don't have a blog or I can reroute my readers to your blog but I believe I do have a picture of you...

so here it goes

(sitting, the one on the right, yes she has a twin sister and the other one is her cousin)

hmmm what to cook for dinner?

porridge?

;)

LX

This Time Last Year

Each time I opened up msn, it seems so empty as compared to few months ago. 5 at most 6 people only per group. I began to think how it was last year and I realized...

This time last year I was back in Malaysia. I started working at Baker Oil Tools on June 1st. Met up with friends that I was supposed to and some friends that was maybe best kept as friends.

Really wanted to write bout my post graduation trip but don't think I will do a good job so am leaving it for later. Pics are up on facebook anyways.

Hmm... what's gonna happen tmr?

Heck, what's gonna happen later?

Do you know?

Felt like some things changed while I was gone for 2 weeks or so.

I feel like I'm standing in front of a very long and dark tunnel, with each second passing, am sucked nearer to it..

Maybe one day I will realize that its not that dark after all and the switch for the lights were in my hands all the time, just that I didn't realize it.

Feeling that a chunk of me is missing but yet can't identify which.

Never felt so lost in life. Does everyone goes through this?

.....

.....

.....

LX